Tuesday, February 24, 2009

"When I Have Fears That I May Cease To Be"


When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high piled books, in charact'ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love!-then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

John Keats (1795-1821)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Dead Pass Swiftly (Trailer)

Finally, after a week long hiatus from the rest of society, I've finished the trailer to my film "The Dead Pass Swiftly." I'm super excited about how it turned out. My buddy Dave Brown gave me a lot of good advice about how to go about editing the trailer. I was a bit apprehensive (actually, it was more than a bit) about some of the suggestions. In the original, I had short snippets that included commentary, but Dave didn't think that the commentary was necessary. He mentioned how powerful imagery can be. I wasn't trying to hear it. I kept the commentary until the very last minute. It really didn't fit in with the scheme of the trailer so, with tears, I cut it out entirely. But, I'm super excited about how well it turned out. My first trailer for one of my films! It's like March Madness in February. I can hear Dickie V in the background "The excitement BABY! America are you SERIOUS!!!" The film was scored by a friend of Dave's. Sadly, I cannot remember his name (if you're reading this you have my sincerest apologies) but I hope to work with him on future projects. He's a really talented composer. Hope you all enjoy the trailer as much as I enjoyed putting it together :) Good fright and all aboard the Train To Midnight.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Horror...The Horror



Hello passengers. I trust you had a good sleep in Love Lost. It seems as though we are a few passengers short. I suppose they are lost in the town of Lost. Woe to those lost in the town of Lost. For they will surely wander the streets trying to find a way...to nowhere. As the conductor is tossing logs in the engine, allow me to tell you a story. A story of horror. I watched "Apocalypse Now" (directed by Francis Ford Coppola) yesterday in my Religion and Film class. In all honesty, at first, I thought the movie was rather boring. Though I do like war movies. Black Hawk Down and Saving Private Ryan (just to name a couple) are two excellent war films. In all honesty, I didn't realize how much I loved the film until the end. The plot of the film is for Captain Benjamin L. Willard (Martin Sheen) to hunt down and kill a fellow American soldier: Colonel Walter E. Kurtz (Marion Brand0). As a side note, a young Lawrence Fishburne takes the role of a 17 year old soldier. He gives us definite glimpses of the Fishburne audiences will come to know and love. Kurtz is believed to have gone insane and has sustained himself deep in the jungle as king of a tribe of "jungle dwellers" as I call them. The movie is set during the time of the Vietnam War. The irony is that though the war is going on, Captain Willard is sent on a dummy mission as a scape-goat to kill an American soldier all for the fact that the army wants him dead. The voice over dialogue in the film is of extreme excellence. Martin Sheen gives an excellent performance as well.

What I most like about the film...is Kurtz. In the beginning, Kurtz is established as this insane figure who's completely broken from the U.S. Army and, because of this, needs to be terminated. Coppola takes us on a journey through the horrors of Nam, deep into the heart of darkness (in relation to the novel by Joseph Conrad of the same name). When Captain Willard finally catches up with Kurtz, the audience is introduced to a far more introspective being whose reflections on society has caused him to seek a greater good, but also to delve deep within himself to manifest the darkness within. A darkness which he refers to as "The Horror."

It was in this that I found a sort of serenity. The words of Kurtz resignated a truth that I discovered through the eyes, lips, and heart of Kurtz. It isn't I that am evil, but it is the Horror within myself, within every individual that makes us evil. I would juxtapose that Horror next to the original sin. It takes something, something deep inside of human beings to be able to perform the actions that Kurtz performed. The ordering of the killing of thousands/millions of innocent individuals. But, in retrospect isn't that what religion has done. Haven't many died in the name of and against religion? Though Kurtz calls this evil, this will to destroy "Horror", couldn't that evil, that Horror, also be called "The Goodness" or "The Light?" At one point, Kurtz even utters, "You have no right to call me a murderer, you have a right to kill me...you have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me..."

For my killing, for those that I have murdered...you have no right to judge me. What I see, those that I have destroyed...though you do not understand and may never understand...you have no right to judge me. It would be well served to say that if Kurtz is a murderer, then we are all murderers. At some point in our lives, we have killed someone. By thoughts unwritten, deeds undone, and goals unachieved. I once heard a minister say, "There are certain people who can only get saved through the sound of one specific person's voice." Not because God could not save them, but because he ordained someone to go through similar circumstances so that that man's testimony would save him that was lost. If that man, having given up on himself and thus life, never testifies than another could never be saved. Thus that man is a murderer. That goes for anything in life. We are all assigned specific tasks in life. Whatever that might be and if we do not carry out those tasks...we are all murderers...."The Horror...The Horror" Alright passengers, I think the engine is warm. It is time that we exit the town of Lost. Let us journey deeper into the jungle. We shall arrive at the heart of darkness someday, or eternally wander the chambers of sorrow. All aboard the Train to Midnight.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Love

Time to slow the train a bit. We've arrived at the station in Love Lost. It is here that I shall write my first, but probably not last, take on the infamous four letter word LOVE. No idea what this word means. I try to stay optimistic about it but the truth is, sometimes (more often than not) I feel totally incapable of following through on what that word actually means. I'm not like most people though. I don't fear love. I fear the repercussions of what love means, but I don't fear love in and of itself. Sometimes, when I sit and think about love, I feel I'll never really know what love, true love, is. And, what is TRUE love and who came up with the concept that all love couldn't be true love? I'm digressing now, a tactic used in the procrastination of punching these keys and writing out how I really feel about love. Funny thing happened yesterday. I was watching a video of a woman. And the video showed the woman in a compromising state under the "control" of a man. It was in that moment that I viewed women as nothing more than a thing. A thing that had to be controlled. Not exactly inhuman but not fully human. Like they're here to be controlled by men. Even with the independent women of the 21st century, watching this woman, this one woman being compromised by a man really struck a chord in me. In combination with an essay that I studied in my Film Studies class, I watched a woman, which is especially common in today's society, being controlled under a watchful gaze of both the male and the audience. In a term called fettishistic scopophilia, used by Laura Mulvey in her essay "Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema," the male, afraid of the real threat a woman poses because of her lack of the phallus (a penis), men tend to break the woman down into parts so that the woman is no longer seen as a WOMAN but rather a piece of meat that the male is able to mold and shape into anything he so pleases. To bring my argument back to center, while watching the video, my perceptions of women and love turned into this blah of a portrait that circled around the idea that love does not exist. Rather there is only submissiveness to the man and through this, and this only, can true love (or a true heterosexual union) exist. I say this because if a woman poses a threat to a man, the only way a man can TRULY love a woman is if he is able to assert his dominance over her and loom over his prize like a hunter would his kill. Love. I hardly know you and yet I know you well. Like strangers on the dance floor we twirl in intimacy never once stopping to ask who we are, then, as strangers on a train we depart never to see one another again. Love. Alright passengers, it seems the conductor is a bit tired. We'll have to remain in Love Lost for the night. Surely you do not mind for I see some of you have brought your female counterparts along for the journey. Be careful, do not wander the darkness, for there are many dangers that lurk within the streets of Love Lost. If you are afraid, take my hand. We shall walk the streets of the Lost...together.