The Horror...The Horror

Hello passengers. I trust you had a good sleep in Love Lost. It seems as though we are a few passengers short. I suppose they are lost in the town of Lost. Woe to those lost in the town of Lost. For they will surely wander the streets trying to find a way...to nowhere. As the conductor is tossing logs in the engine, allow me to tell you a story. A story of horror. I watched "Apocalypse Now" (directed by Francis Ford Coppola) yesterday in my Religion and Film class. In all honesty, at first, I thought the movie was rather boring. Though I do like war movies. Black Hawk Down and Saving Private Ryan (just to name a couple) are two excellent war films. In all honesty, I didn't realize how much I loved the film until the end. The plot of the film is for Captain Benjamin L. Willard (Martin Sheen) to hunt down and kill a fellow American soldier: Colonel Walter E. Kurtz (Marion Brand0). As a side note, a young Lawrence Fishburne takes the role of a 17 year old soldier. He gives us definite glimpses of the Fishburne audiences will come to know and love. Kurtz is believed to have gone insane and has sustained himself deep in the jungle as king of a tribe of "jungle dwellers" as I call them. The movie is set during the time of the Vietnam War. The irony is that though the war is going on, Captain Willard is sent on a dummy mission as a scape-goat to kill an American soldier all for the fact that the army wants him dead. The voice over dialogue in the film is of extreme excellence. Martin Sheen gives an excellent performance as well.

What I most like about the film...is Kurtz. In the beginning, Kurtz is established as this insane figure who's completely broken from the U.S. Army and, because of this, needs to be terminated. Coppola takes us on a journey through the horrors of Nam, deep into the heart of darkness (in relation to the novel by Joseph Conrad of the same name). When Captain Willard finally catches up with Kurtz, the audience is introduced to a far more introspective being whose reflections on society has caused him to seek a greater good, but also to delve deep within himself to manifest the darkness within. A darkness which he refers to as "The Horror."

It was in this that I found a sort of serenity. The words of Kurtz resignated a truth that I discovered through the eyes, lips, and heart of Kurtz. It isn't I that am evil, but it is the Horror within myself, within every individual that makes us evil. I would juxtapose that Horror next to the original sin. It takes something, something deep inside of human beings to be able to perform the actions that Kurtz performed. The ordering of the killing of thousands/millions of innocent individuals. But, in retrospect isn't that what religion has done. Haven't many died in the name of and against religion? Though Kurtz calls this evil, this will to destroy "Horror", couldn't that evil, that Horror, also be called "The Goodness" or "The Light?" At one point, Kurtz even utters, "You have no right to call me a murderer, you have a right to kill me...you have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me..."

For my killing, for those that I have murdered...you have no right to judge me. What I see, those that I have destroyed...though you do not understand and may never understand...you have no right to judge me. It would be well served to say that if Kurtz is a murderer, then we are all murderers. At some point in our lives, we have killed someone. By thoughts unwritten, deeds undone, and goals unachieved. I once heard a minister say, "There are certain people who can only get saved through the sound of one specific person's voice." Not because God could not save them, but because he ordained someone to go through similar circumstances so that that man's testimony would save him that was lost. If that man, having given up on himself and thus life, never testifies than another could never be saved. Thus that man is a murderer. That goes for anything in life. We are all assigned specific tasks in life. Whatever that might be and if we do not carry out those tasks...we are all murderers...."The Horror...The Horror" Alright passengers, I think the engine is warm. It is time that we exit the town of Lost. Let us journey deeper into the jungle. We shall arrive at the heart of darkness someday, or eternally wander the chambers of sorrow. All aboard the Train to Midnight.