F.E.A.R

Fear, what is it? How does one define it? Can it be defined? Is it a physical being or only the manifestation of what horrors lie in the head of the individual? F.E.A.R has two meanings as defined by Stephen King in his bestselling novel "Bag of Bones": "Face Everything And Recover" or, my personal favorite, "Fuck Everything And Run."

It's a question that I've pondered for the last couple of days and one whose answer I'm just now beginning to understand (which opens up the flood gates to yet more questions). Fear is US, people that is. Fear is whatever we believe to be true. Our minds is the playground that fear dwells. It swings on the sets of our deepest horrors and slides down the tunnels of places which we hoped to conceal. When one asks the question "What is your deepest fear?" in retrospect they're asking "What makes you afraid of the unknown?" Someone told me that people fear the dark, or, in general, the unknown. My reponse was that people do not fear the unknown, rather it's the known that keeps one awake at night. The known is that thing that dwells in the minds of every human being with a beating heart. The known is what one knows to be there, not some fabled monster under the bed story, but that sinister evil that lurks within the shadows.

John Carpenter once stated that "We're all afraid of the same things." How true you are Mr. Carpenter, how true you are. Everyone shares the same universal fears (dismemberment, failure, dying alone, being shot, death of loved ones, being trapped in an elevator, knowing you were going to die, along with a host of others) but, individually, we have our own personal fears locked away in the deep corners of our minds that surface from time to time when we're out on that late night errand or when you can't figure out what's making that creaking noise in the kitchen. Fear keeps individuals pouring into the theaters when that movie that's been highly anticipated finally drops. It also deflates the audience when the movie does not live up to their expectation. Reason? The minds of the individuals are to blame. When we unlock those areas once locked away in our minds, we give way to situations, beginnings, and endings that are more gruesome more horrid than any film (or MPAA rating) could ever show.

So, what does one do about this fear? Nothing. Fear is as natural as walking. One can never really control fear, it just is. Funny thing is, we as human beings like being afraid. In more practical terms, we WANT to be afraid. Something in us wants to know what lurks in the shadows, wants to know what's making that creaking noise in the kitchen, wants to know if that monster under the bed really exist. No special reason why, we just do. I've stayed awake many a night listening to the sounds of the night. I've come to realize that the night takes on a life of its own. The sounds of Night itself give way to a more terrifying nature. Everything about it is unnatural, but yet alluring. So now, I invite you reader, come take a trip with me. We're going to venture into the darkness to a place called Midnight. We'll stop every now and again, briefly, but this train is headed straight to the heart of darkness. Don't worry, take my hand, I promise to be gentle. If you hear a tapping, don't worry, for it is only that thing which you thought wasn't real. He only wants to assure you that he is alive and well. Come now, I've thrown logs in the fire and the train is picking up speed. All aboard The Train To Midnight.

Religious Ignorance

A couple of evangelicals came to my college a few weeks back. I decided to document the events and I ended up with enough footage to compose this short short documentary on what I saw. For the most part the evangelicals were preaching hell fire and brimstone to the students. This didn't sit well with the students for all the obvious reasons. The students were both hostile and belligerent in their attacks against the radicals.

In the documentary, I chose not to take sides when I edited it. What I did was to compose a piece that leaves the question of ignorance and who is the actual culprit up to the viewer. This is where YOUR belief comes into play. The questions that you must ask yourself if you're calling the evangelicals ignorant are as follows:

1. Why do I feel they are ignorant?

2. Is the message they are teaching wrong?

3. Is their approach wrong?

4. Whose religion are they considering?

5. Is this another bunch of bible thumping radicals that will serve beer in hell when Judgement Day gets here?

If you feel the students are wrong, the questions are:

1. Are they in denial

2. Did they have the right to yell at the evangelicals?

3. Is it because of their unwillingness to give up their sin that they are yelling back?

4. Are they justified in their response because they are in college?

5. Is this another gang of people that will be drinking beer in hell when Judgement Day comes?

Then there is the question of whether or not all parties involved are ignorant. That either way, at the end of the day, nothing was accomplished and this circus, though entertaining, was a big waste of time.

Religion is a very sticky subject, especially when one places it on a college campus. With the amount of sin and corruption that occurs, one is prone to be hostile when told to turn away from events that have defined the last few days, months, and years of that persons life. And there is the notion that "no one wants to be told that they are wrong," right? Either way, the choice of ignorance is yours, viewer. I invite you now back down the deep dark tunnels that give way to the light guiding our lives. Don't be afraid, take my hand. It might be dark for a while, but we'll find the light...one day...or forever wander the darkness, together. Good fright and all aboard The Train To Midnight.

She's Here About The Reaping...

Ah yes, I've been expecting you. That ugly thing called The Feminist (cringe) has decided to rear her ugly head (no pun intended). Women I know some of you may not like this one, but hey, start a blog and chew me a new one. For now, hop aboard THE TRAIN TO MIDNIGHT and stow away in the mind of the conductor. Next Stop: Feministville. Scarier than any horror movie to date and possibly any that will ever be made is the infamous Unsure Feminist. WHAT DO YOU WANT!?! Pardon my outburst passengers. I'll toss some more logs in and cool the engine down. I find it funny when a woman calls herself a feminist when she has no real understanding of the word. I've been "attacked" by so-called feminist on numerous occasions, but when questioned about the motives behind being a feminist the response was usually one of bewilderment, blank stares, and a whole lot of umms and eerrss. I have no problem with feminist, but if and only if she understands the true motives behind feminism. This might be funny coming from a male, but shouldn't the object of feminism be for a woman to achieve equality? It makes no sense for feminist to claim to be better than men. I feel, personally, that by claiming that you're better than a man, you're essentially lowering yourself to the level of that which you strive to overcome. In no way am I trying to regulate how feminist govern themselves (as I'm sure that a man governing feminist defeats the purpose of feminism), but I am asking for those pretentious feminist that only want to claim something and choose sex as their weapon of choice, to examine the feminist teachings and be, really be, who they say they are in truth. Just like any other movement, misrepresentations on any level, kills the purpose at all levels. Hold on folks. Ha, looks like we've approached the town limits for Feministville. Hey, that wasn't so bad was it passengers? We've successfully passed through Feministville. Well, on to the next stop I say. This freight has words to type, films to show, and ghouls to awaken. Good fright and all aboard The Train To Midnight.

Midnight Chills

As my first official post, I'll leave you guys a treat. This is a short horror film me and my friend Braker Carter worked on. I directed and narrated the film (also have a cameo appearance in the beginning). He's the actor. The premise is a man struggling to cope with life. In the midst of his struggle, he's visited by Death. Cornered in a small garage, watch how Robert Shovel deals with his last moments on earth. Good fright and all aboard The Train To Midnight.

All Aboard The Train To Midnight

I've finally decided to get back on this thing called Blogspot. I was choosing between blogspot and wordpress, but ultimately blogspot beat out its' counterpart in a third round knockout. In the brief stint I had with blogging, I found it to be a good release. With that being said, I've decided to start a more personal blog page that keeps you up to date on all the things I find interesting about life, film, and whatever else decides to happen. There will probably be a few "eerie" entries as I tend to flex my horror muscle from time to time. I'll probably post a few short short stories on the spot on my page. Hopefully, in the midst of all my writing, I'll write something that keeps you the reader interested enough to keep coming back. Good fright and all aboard The Train To Midnight

Antonio Robinson