The Body

The Body from Antonio Di Robinson on Vimeo.

Here's the trailer for a film shot in class called "The Body."

Di Rob

Working on a new script.  This one is proving to be rather interesting.  Not going to give too much away at this point, but technology is the underlying theme of the film.  Already have a main actor and actress to star in the piece.  I'll have to tighten the screws once the script is done, but I'm excited to be back to work on a project of my own.  I've been in semi-cruise control since I shot "JOURNEY".  But, now that that chapter is done, it's time to begin anew.  I'll be sure to keep you posted on the progress of the film.  

Hope you all are enjoying a few scares as it is the month of October.  Home of "All Hallows Eve" muah ha ha ha (yeah, that didn't come out right, but hey...i'm a director).  Me, I just finished watching Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining".  Even though I've seen it before, the film still manages to give me goosebumps.  The part in particular is when Jack Nicholson is in the bathroom talking to the old caretaker, Grady.  Grady is the one who offed his whole family with an ax and then put a double barrel to his head.  Something about talking to a dead guy creeps me out.   Another part that gave me the chills is the part with those damn twins.  It's when Danny is on his bike.  He strolls down the hallway and sees the two girls standing in front of him (as if this wasn't creepy enough).  They stare at one another and then flashes of their dead, butchered corpses flash as the scene cuts back and forth between the live and dead versions of the twins.  Creeps.  

I'm trying to watch at least a horror movie a week in honor of the month.  You should do the same.  Catch up on some of the fright flicks of the 70's and 80's or put on some plastic and watch some of the gore fests of the 90's and 00's.  Anyways, I gotta get to bed ladies and ghouls.  All aboard the Train To Midnight.

Antonio Di Robinson 

Journey

JOURNEY from Antonio Di Robinson on Vimeo.

I've finally gotten around to posting the finished product of my film. Hopefully the wait has caused an increased sense of anticipation. Not much else to say except, enjoy :)

Di Rob

Scene Three

I just burned a copy of the entire film onto a DVD.  I'm going to be taking it home to watch it on an actual television to get a feel for how well it's going to look.  I experienced a renewed enthusiasm for the film today while editing the credits.  It becomes hard to maintain enthusiasm for a project after having spent such an extended amount of time with it (literally day and night), but, as the project wraps, your enthusiasm and fire will return.  My second wind (as they say in basketball) has refueled my drive and I'm now geared up for a strong finish.  Excitement BABY!!! (in my best Dick Vitale voice).  In my filmmaking career, thus far, this film is definitely my magnum opus.  

As a side note, I finally figured out a name for the film.  I've decided to called it "Journey."  It came to me as I searched aimlessly for a title.  Short, simple, and sweet.  My kinda name.  I'm excited about having the opportunity to show others the film.  The nervousness has not fully set in yet.  Probably because I've been so focused on completing my film that I haven't really had the opportunity to contemplate how it will be received.  That's probably a good thing.  Having too many voices in one's head only leads to disaster in the long run.  Besides, although I've made this film for others, ultimately this film has helped me cope with my own personal issues and for better or worse I love her for that (yes, my films are my wives).  Film is my art and we shall grow and mature, together.

Hopefully we too shall grow and mature together reader.  I thank you for joining me on my journey.  Your presence is not taken for granted.  Hopefully, my films are able to teach you something about yourselves and/or cause you to look at life with a rejuvenated sense of purpose.

Alright.  The conductor has called for the last of the passengers.  Do not be afraid now.  Take my hand.  We've been together this long, why should we part ways now?  The journey is not yet over.  The darkness has not yet been lifted.  But, if you trust me, we shall break free to the light, together.  All aboard the Train to Midnight. 

Di Rob

Scene Two

As promised, this is the second post update on my film.  Still haven't figured out a name that suits the film, but it's looking better and better the more time I'm spending on it.  I just got the bright idea to separate each scene into trials.  Almost novel style.  It seems as though I've given an acknowledged nod to filmmaker Lars Von Trier with this move.  Hats off to you then friend.  I wasn't initially going to do this, but the more and more I replayed the scene transitions, the more it looked like a totally different film.  Not different, but it seemed as though the film were starting over.  The idea might crash and burn, but for now, it seems to be a pretty good alternative.  I have roughly two and a half weeks to tighten the screws on the film so I'll be spending day and night working out the kinks.  The joys of editing (no sarcasm, lol).  

I received the track I've been waiting on to cut the second and third scenes today as well.  Ben Beiny, London composer, really came through on this one.  I gave a special request as to an ambient sound in the score and he fit it in quite well.  I'm very pleased with how well both of his compositions go with the film.  It's pretty much up to me to get the most out of these gems.  I got it.  

That's pretty much all for now, but I'll continue to update you as I make strides in completing the film.  All aboard the Train To Midnight.

Di Rob 

New Project

WORKING ON A NEW PROJECT!!!  I'm super excited because I haven't gotten the chance to work on any serious projects of my own in some time.  The above image is a still from the film.  Just wanted to give you guys a taste.  Not sure of the title yet, but the theme of the film is suicide.  I'm using suicide as a metaphor for freedom.  Not freedom in the physical though.  Moreso, freedom in the mental and spiritual aspects of oneself.  It's taken me a minute to get a cut of the first scene, but I finally have something worth mentioning.  The score is going to be a pain to get right, but I have it well enough for now to get a feel for the scene.  Just for a quick plug.  I used London composer Ben Beiny for my film score.  He is an AMAZING up and coming composer.  I'll be speaking of him in posts to come.  I'll make sure to keep you all (if anyone actually reads my blog, lol) posted on the progress of my film.  All aboard the Train To Midnight.

Di Rob

Flashing Lights

I'm sitting in front of an apple computer screen typing out the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I want to blog about.  In all honesty, the only true reason I even feel the need to blog is because of a certain intonation deep within me that thinks that it is my duty to use the site since I'm a member.  Not that I don't have anything to say, I just feel that individuals that want people to know their every move are in a sense narcissistic.  To me, it's a cry for not only attention but also help.  They want your sympathy and your pity (I'm sure they mean the same thing, you know synonyms).  Funny thing is, you might as well chalk my name on that board (though I'm slowly starting to etch it out).  Moreso than anything I think that it's a societal problem.  Everybody wants to be Mr. Big Dick nowadays.  Everybody wants to "outshine" the next man.  You all know what I mean, it's the "anything you can do, I can do better" type ordeal.  I've found myself up many a nights pondering the reason behind this and I have yet to come up with an answer.  Think about the alternative.  Do you tell someone not to be all they have been called to be because there are too many people doing it?  Do you say to someone that a life in mediocrity is fine as long as you stay true to yourself.  Really?  True to mediocrity?  Who in their right (or left) mind thinks that being true to themselves is remaining in mediocrity.  Honestly, who wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror and says, "I will not achieve my full potential...but it's who I am and I'm comfortable with that"?  That sentence reads ridiculous so picture how much worse it'd be coming out of someone's mouth.

I just had an epiphany.  Maybe, just maybe, seeking fame is the problem.  Think about it.  Why do we seek fame?  Because, of course, we want to be recognized.  We want to stand out among our peers or maybe we just like the idea of everyone looking up to us as god (there goes that pesky narcissism again).  I've noticed that nowadays people seek fame for all the wrong reasons.  They don't want to be famous because they have something IMPORTANT (I capitalize that because everyone has something to say, I just don't find that everyone has something important to say) to say, but just because they like the idea of fame and what it presents.  The classic example would be rap music.  The classic Biggie Smalls line, "Money, hoes, and clothes.." is just one representation of this idea.  Just to clarify, I'm an avid Biggie Smalls fan, I find that his music, as well as countless musicians, have hidden or subliminal messages tied to the lyrics.

But, you know something, I'm going to leave that situation out of this argument.  I think you'll find that it's a trickle down effect though.  Fame is not and should not only be established as a word that means a person's economic status within society.  Fame, and I'm sure it does, means ANY situation where a person is overexerting his or herself in trying to gain the attention of others.  Coming up, I saw a whole bunch of these types of people.  From the cheerleaders, to the athletes, to the thugs, and on and on.  Everyone remembers the scene in high school.  The sole purpose in high school was to outshine everyone...BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!!!  (sorry, I had to throw in Malcolm X)  It's the popularity contest.  That's fame as well.  To see who had the most friends, or went to the most parties, or drank alcohol every weekend, or had gotten into the most fights before graduation, or fucked the most individuals...that's fame.  Everybody knows or knows of at least one individual that falls in this category.  And this my friends is the society in which we are growing up in.  One in which we have been in competition with one another from the very beginning.  

1 “Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.   - Matthew 6:1

I'll be ending this blog soon as I think this quote pretty much sums up my argument.  Do not feed into the idea that in order for you to be somebody you have to be known by everybody.  As my film teacher would say, "that's rubbish."  Never forget that whatever lies in store for you in your life will come with time.  Be patient and do not rush the process.  We have enough wealthy people who have become either angry at society or suicidal without the slightest inclination as to why.  Fame, in the traditional, is not all it's cracked up to be.  Not the way the world wants to give it to you.  Trust yourself, trust your gift, and trust in God. 

-Train

Where to begin?

"It can't rain all the time." That my friends is a line from a movie called The Crow. Have you seen it? I felt it right to start off with that line since that's what I've been trying to tell myself since I've been home. It has literally rained everyday, at some point in the day, since I've been back in Georgetown. Can't say I'm complaining though. The rain serves as a nice combatant for the heat.

The summer has been long thus far (especially being at home without a job), but it has been a productive one nonetheless. I've watched so many films it's borderline ridiculous. That and I've been able to watch a few of the television series that come on t.v. One that I like in particular is Burn Notice. I'm not going to run through the plot but if you haven't seen it, I'd advise you to check it out. It comes on every Thursday at 9 on USA (and the Season 2 just started last week so you haven't missed much. Go online to burnnotice.usa.com to catch up). Another show that I dig is House. After being asked what I've been watching by my friend (who is a House fanatic) I decided to catch a few episodes of the marathon that was on yesterday on USA and found the show to be quite enjoyable. I might pick it up. Haunted and Ghost Hunters are two shows that I watch(ed) on the Sci-Fi channel. Again, I'm not going to run through the plots, but log onto Sci-Fi.com to check out a few episodes online or read a synopsis of the shows.

I've even been working on a few scripts of my own. My labtop is out of commission so I've had to write them long hand, but I don't mind, that much. I'm working on this piece on infidelity that's proving to be quite interesting. I'll just that hell isn't always what you expect it to be. On top of that, I've been brainstorming a few spec scripts for some of the television series that I've watched (along with a few of my own series...maybe in the future). All in all, I've obtained good practice on the art of writing scripts and writing in general. Tedious but worth it. One thing that has helped in my writing is that I've read a fair amount of books since I've been home. Two that I'm working on now are "Woody Allen" and the other "What Color was Jesus?" They are both remarkable books. Needless to say, no synopsis will be given here, but check them out for yourselves if you're curious. I'll probably be doing a write-up for "What Color was Jesus?" so look out for that. Not soon, but sometime. I think you'll be intrigued. Alright, I think that's enough about me and my summer, until next time.

Love

Je Ne Sais Pas...

I don't know? Requiem for my dream. That's as honest as I can be. I don't know. I would be remissed if I did not tell you what I don't know. Women. I have no idea how to respond to you. Not in the sense that I don't know how to speak to you, but once it's reached that awkward "in between" where we're not really friends but we're not dating phase. And then, as many things tend to do, when everything collapses on itself and then I'm left with nothing. Something happened earlier that annoyed the heck out of me, but it's my own fault because, again, I don't know how to respond to you. The dominance and independence in me says that I should let it go, but the romantic side of me says that I've experienced, yet again, a love lost. What I'm not saying is that I was in love, but I was susceptible to it. I hate that feeling (actually, I try my best to steer clear of it) because it leaves me, more often than not, staring up at the ceiling at 3a.m. wondering why I put myself into the predicaments that I do. I'm a hopeless romantic. That might seem strange coming from a male but I don't care, it's just me. The funny thing about that is that I try to so hard to suppress those feelings because I know what they lead to. Case in point, I'm writing this blog. I'm awkward, point blank period. There's no way around it. When I'm around someone I have feelings for (until things settle in a bit) I often become shy, dry-mouthed, and at a lost for words, sometimes. This also happens when I'm in a situation where there is no understood...anything. It's hard when you start off with someone not as friends, but as "talking" because when stuff hits the fan everything usually goes downhill because you were never anything to begin with. I'm actually an alpha male who is confident (often times to the point of arrogance, I'll admit it. But humble nonetheless) about myself and what I want out of life. That does not mean that I'm immune from love and the sour taste it often leaves in the mouth of those that taste it's ever abundant fruit. Antonio you are a basket case. As people we often say "I'm independent, I don't need anyone," but this is a visage (not visade as usually pronounced) that we use in order to hide our true feelings. A mask if you will. I wear the same mask. But my situation as a filmmaker helps me to wear this mask. Being with someone makes you obligated to places. I don't want to be held back. Because of this, I'm able to distance myself from people because I know what consequences befall those that fall into that trap. See how I rationalize my actions. This is one of those things that I might never get a grip on, but who cares, right? Does it matter that you don't fall in love if people know your name? Is being alone a necessary sacrifice for greatness? Is the love of another, a true intimate love, a necessity to live a full life? Je ne sais pas...

This is just my release. Writing is how I deal with those feelings. This is my suppression. By writing about it I'm able to overtake those feelings and begin anew the journey of love (although, in reality, I don't really think that I want to be in love, I just want a woman to talk to). Let me take the time out to apologize to every woman that I've ever done wrong to. I'm truly sorry. I'm not saying that I won't mess up in the future, but for the time being, it is with a clear conscious that I say that I am truly sorry, I know I've made my mistakes and I accept that. I love you all. Each and every one of you have taught me something and have helped mold me into who I am becoming. I wish you all the best life has to offer.

Don't strive to live in the moment, strive to live in history,

Antonio

God and Society

Hey peeps. Hope all is well within your realm of living (or existing). I was watching a video on Youtube earlier today (My Life by The Game ft. Lil' Wayne) and the images in the video really struck a chord in me. In particular, the image of the Angel tombstone in the scenes where Game and Wayne are at the cemetery. I'm not going to do a summary of the video, but I'll post it at the end of this note for those that would like to have a visual reference point to go on. To be honest, I'm not 100% positive where I'm going with this, but I ask that you all please keep an open mind and a willingness to understand my thought process. Walk with me.

God and Society. The two seem to coexist right? After all, in essence, God is society. Without Him, there is no society because society is made up of the individual and the individual is God manifested in flesh and blood. But why...why has society been operating without the God which created it. I say this because we as humans have done what we are prone to do; taken God and molded him to fit our own personal situations. The depiction of the Angel in the cemetery is one telling sign of this. Folks, it is imperative that you remember that the earth, in its' current state, is not God's kingdom. Yes, America, "In God We Trust," but this is not His kingdom. It belongs to Satan.

"But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!" (Revelation 12:12 RSV)

"And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the likeness of God." (2 Corinthians 4:3-4 RSV)

I've included these two scriptures as points of reference to help you better understand what I'm saying. Read your Bible for further information. What I'm saying is that in the video "My Life" the hate, death, and life of turmoil they experience has not been brought upon them and their people by God, but themselves. Lil Wayne's line "Dear Lord you done took so many of my people, I'm just wondering why you haven't taken my life," is false. False because he's not asking the right god that question. God has not taken anyone away through crime. They've cut themselves off. The wages of sin is death, period. Everything has a consequence. It's the natural order of things. You can't do wrong and hope to receive good. The reason I'm approaching this issue is because I operate within the realm of media and I fully understand the influence it has on its' consumers. People in ghettos, slums, projects, and neighborhoods everywhere that have heard this song has probably uttered the same words "Dear Lord you done took so many of my people, I'm just wondering why you haven't taken my life." They have become jaded into thinking that God is the source of their problems. God is not death, but He understands, as should you, that death is necessary to return to Him. But His gift to you through death is eternal life, but what He does not want for you to do is struggle while living on earth (which in all respects is a veritable hell). Problem is, we have gotten so caught up in the "struggle" and hustling and our neverending pursuit for the dollar that we have forgotten the scriptures:

"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: For they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

"And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

"Take therefore no thought for the morrow: For the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

Matthew 6:24-34

We've forgotten that Jesus spoke in parables or stories so we could relate to what he was saying. He saw the troubles we would experience before we knew earth and answered our questions before we thought of them. But, we have allowed popular culture to tell us what we want and what we should have in order to coexist with the rest of society. We have become a consumer people and when we can't have what we want we blame God. But when we get what we want, we thank Satan. "Is not the body more than raiment?" When you leave this earth what will be your legacy? I read on Brittany Ashley's blog (who, may I add, is an up and coming writer to be reckoned with) the words, "Do not let the universe regret you." Enough said.

God and what He represents is no longer apart of this world. God and Society, for now, are two separate entities. The people are to blame. Society is made up of the individual. The individual shapes society. The society decides the media. The media tells the consumer...you get the picture. It's a never ending cycle. To bring my argument back to center, the images in the video "My Life" though rather powerful, are false in the context in which they are used and because of this, they are falsely shaping the minds of the youth and adults alike. It'd be good to learn to decipher images for yourselves. It helps one determine what is being falsely represented and it helps one educate those around them about the falsehoods. This could lead people to stop falsely blaming and claiming God.

To everyone who walked with me, thanks. Take my message in stride and learn from it, that's all I ask. If you would like to respond in a note of your own, I encourage it. Tag me please. I think this is an important issue that I'll be dealing with in upcoming films and articles in the present and future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mFQdXFfnb0&feature=channel_page

Don't strive to live in the moment, strive to live in history,
Antonio

"Let the Right One In"

Hello again passengers, hope the journey has been smooth sailing or, in this case, railing, thus far. I watched Tomas Alfredson's "Let the Right One In," based on the novel by John Ajvide Lindqvist. First and foremost, it is an amazing film. Alfredson does an excellent job in singling out the love story between Oskar (Kare Hedebrant) and Eli (Line Leandersson). The film took an intimate look at the relationship of a pre-teen male and a pre-teen vampire female. The relationship developed by the two is one of caring, intimacy, and murder. Alfred chose this relationship as the main focus for the film. One should read the book to get the full description of some holes that the film left unfilled. Cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema and director Tomas Alfredson do an excellent job in selecting the color palette for the film. I have no idea what 1982 Sweden looks like, but by the looks of the film, it's a damn beautiful place. Upon reading an interview with the director I learned that both he and the Hoytema studied art and eventually selected their color palette from a painting by Rafael from "The Sistine Chapel". Their choice of a frozen blue captures the spirit of the film and brings out the feeling of being alone and isolated in an area where the sun doesn't shine, but winks every now and then. Alfredson also limits the amount of dialogue and overall sound in the film to a minimum. When asked why, Alfredson stated, "If you have a wide shot over a city and you just hear a bird, your eyes will immediately scan over the frame to find the bird. Maybe the bird is coming in the next scene; a close-up of a bird in a cage. You can work with silence to bring certain things across. If you fill the entire soundscape with effects, atmosphere and music, you can hide yourself as a filmmaker. But if you put up just one voice, one bird, or any one thing, you are being brave because you are saying something. You are sort of making an argument." Alfredson speaks about horror as a dialogue, as opposed to a monolugue, with the audience. The audience must be active participants within the film. The way to do this is through suggestion and ambiguity. The film definitely has moments where the audience is left to ponder "What the hell just happened." As a film, "Let the Right One In" works on so many levels. I hesitate in calling this film a genre film, because I'm not all too positive that this is true, but it is definitely a classic with staying power.

The Horror Genre

One thing I really love about the Horror Genre is, above all, its' ability to tell the truth behind the human experience. Horror is an exceptable realm where its' viewers understand that 1) they're about to see some wild shit and 2) it's no more exaggerated than the realities we face in everyday life. I plan on making horror films based on my own experiences on this earth as well as things I've witnessed. Some of my influences both old and new are George A. Romero, John Carpenter, Wes Craven, and, quickly coming up through the ranks, Dario Argento. I plan on checking out a slew of Argento films within the next couple of months. I'll post a few film reviews about the films I watch. Check out some of the interviews from a few of the Masters of Horrors themselves.

Mos Def...need I say more???

Dope Biggie Smalls Song From Demo Tape(6)

Really Dope Najubes Mash-Up

I Hate and Renounce as a Coward

I just finished reading this rant by Michael P. Dipaolo and knew I had to post it on my blog. This is for all of you whom are either jaded, untruthful, or down right cowardly in your quest to reveal film as truth.

1.) I hate and renounce as a coward anyone who thinks they can cast a TV star and still be independent. 2.) I hate and renounce as cowards all those poseurs attempting to pass off their craftily conceived conformity as cutting edge. 3.) I hate and renounce as a coward every director who wastes film stock shooting a radio play disguised as a movie. 4.) I hate and renounce as a coward the next producer who tries to pass off another drab, middle class generation X model as white trash. 5.) I hate and renounce as a coward all those lazy bastards who use the lyrics of a song to set the emotional tone of a scene or name their film after some 60's pop tune. 6.) I hate and renounce as a coward those who have destroyed glamour in the name of some silly simplistic notion of realism. 7.) I hate and renounce as a coward any filmgoer who sits through a universally praised film they think is a piece of shit and doesn't stand up and scream at the screen. 8.) I hate and renounce as a coward any creative artist who chooses a difficult subject and punks out in their execution. 9.) I hate and renounce as a coward any filmmaker who hasn't taken the time to learn their craft. 10.) I hate and renounce as a coward those who would convince me that the "American Independent Film" has become anything but a greedy, cynical attempt to shove the European Art Film off American screens. 11.) I hate and renounce as a coward any editor who allows themselves to be persuaded by any being (whether living or dead ) to cut back and forth on every line of dialogue, as if Dragnet wasn't bad enough. 12.) I hate and renounce as a coward any filmmaker whose every character doesn't reveal some aspect of their soul. 13.) I hate and renounce as a coward any filmmaker who isn't' constantly struggling against the reality of their being paid to perpetuate the lies we live by. 14.) I hate and renounce as a coward those artists who have made "updated" film noirs that would more at home in a Vogue spread on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. 15.) I hate and renounce as cowards all those countless film festival organizers whose sole goal is to make money. 16.) I hate and renounce as a coward every movie critic who has allowed themselves to become nothing but a high paid movie studio flunky. 17.) I hate and renounce as a coward all those cretins who believe that film history begins in the 60's, 50's, 40's, 30's or 20's... 18.) I hate and renounce as a coward any moron who makes or believes in 10 Best Lists, let alone 100 Best Lists. 19.) I hate and renounce as a coward the next discovery who passes of their credit card financed, dull as dishwater, coming of age "epic" as anything but a drab piece of shit. 20.) I hate and renounce as a coward those idiots who attempt to pass off their lack of style as somehow being more "honest." 21.) I hate and renounce as a coward those marketing geniuses who tell me that they have to know how to sell a movie before they make it. 22.) I hate and renounce as a coward writers who pass off their bland, pathetic, politically correct whining as insightful social criticism. 23.) I hate and renounce as a coward anyone who recycles old movies as a substitute for personal experience. 24.) I hate and renounce as a cowards the vast industry that's sprouted up to assist technically inept, spiritually bankrupt, morally corrupt, culturally deprived individuals make their "personal vision." 25.) I hate and renounce as a coward any brain-washed cretin who thinks scripts are anything but an invention of producers to control the creative process. 26.) I hate and renounce as a coward anyone who doesn't believe that the camera and microphone are the only true writing instruments of a film. 27.) I hate and renounce as a coward any director of photography who lights a scene that looks like a battle between three different schools of painting. 28.) I hate and renounce as a coward anyone who makes another irredeemably terrible movie from one of Jim Thompson's darkly, sublime books. 29.) I hate and renounce as a coward the very next "indie" filmmaker who recounts how they financed their film with credit cards, luring countless suckers to subsidize some conglomerate's independent film division's development fund. 30.) I hate and renounce as a coward anyone, whatsoever, who appears in TV commercials for independent film with some stupid, curly-headed little witch. 31.) I hate and renounce as a coward all those simplistic, moronic, critics who contribute to the creation of a simplistic, moronic audience. 32.) I hate and renounce as cowards all those who know the truth of the above, but profitably continue to remain silent.

-Michael P. Dipaolo

Full Frame Documentary Film Festival Pt. 2 (Say My Name)

"Say My Name" is another one of my personal favorites from the festival. The film spoke volumes about the state of women (femcees) in hip hop. It featured interviews with prominent females in hip hop that include Remy Martin, MC Lyte, Rah Digga, Erykah Badu, and newcomer Estelle whose hit single "American Boy" with Kanye West blazed (is blazing) the radio, charts, and college parties. It also included lesser known, but nonetheless important, female femcees that included Sparky D, Roxanne Shante, Jean Grae, Choc Thai, Invincible and Miz Korona. The femcees came from all walks of life from the Bronx to Detroit to Atlanta to London. One of the more powerful comments of the documentary was a comment stated by Rah Digga. She stated that the names of female emcees are usually much larger than the money they actually bring in. This struck me on many levels. I never thought of the fact that I do know of Remy Martin, Rah Digga, and others but have never actually purchased one of their cd's (with the exclusion of Erykah Badu). This alone harms the market for femcees. As proven in the entertainment market, if it's not selling, record labels are not willing to put their money behind the project. What I particularly loved about the doc was the truth behind the lyrics of the rappers. They strive to stay true to their situation just as a male rapper would do. They want to destroy the image of the oversexualized female in hip hop. An image that often works against the establishment of the more lyrically talented artists. Remy Martin was one, if not the only, female that did not wish to tarnish the image of the oversexualized image of women. She said that she's not willing to knock how another woman makes her money. If that means shaking her ass in a video then, so be it. But, in contrast, the doc was not engulfed in contraversy. It moreso sought to give recognition to the otherwise ghost femcees that inhabit the world of rap. Nirit Peled, formerly from Israel, is the director of the documentary. I was really impressed by her depiction of the different cities and her ability to not only capture the essence of the cities, but also to connect the cities. What connected the cities was hip hop. Her musical score composed of the raps of the femcees and outside sources really made the documentary that much more potent. The lyrics of the femcees are that of their struggle, pain, dreams, fears, hope, and love. Hip hop knows no gender and in a predominantly male dominated realm femcees are definitely gearing up for a takeover.

Full Frame Documentary Film Festival Pt.1 (Hoop Dreams)

So, I went to the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, North Carolina this weekend. What impressed me the most was the amount of African-American based documentaries in the fest. The four I watched on Saturday were, "Hoop Dreams", "In Motion: Amiri Baraka", "The Fallen Champ", and "Say My Name". Today I watched "William Kunstler: Disturbing the Universe". Each film I watched had either a Q & A with the director, subject matter or a combination of the two. Some Q & A's were better than others, but, overall, the filmmakers did an excellent job in not only the production but the presentation of their documentaries. My favorite of the four documentaries is between "Hoop Dreams" and "Say My Name." Hoop Dreams is about 2 inner city youth growing up in Chicago, Illinois chasing the dream of one day playing in the NBA like an idol of theirs (Isiah Thomas) who, consequently, went to the same High School as Gates and Agee (formerly). William Gates (who was in attendence for the Q & A) and Arthur Agee Jr. are the subject matter for the film. I particularly enjoyed the way the film captured the reality of growing up as a black youth in Chicago in the late 80's and early 90's. The rawness of the film spoke volumes about the real life struggles faced by black families trying to support the decisions of their childrens dreams and dealing with real-life hardships in their everyday lives. The Agee family in particular went through numerous trying times. His father was a recovering drug addict who left the family on occasion to fend for themselves. As in the case for most black families, Arthur's mother proved to be the glue that held the family together. Arthur himself dealt with being kicked out of St. Joseph High School (Isiah Thomas' alma mater) where he attended with Gates. Agee faces the difficult struggle of making a jump from one high school to another in the middle of the school year and increasing his level of play on the court to secure a starting position on the varsity basketball team. Gates faced personal struggles of living up to his brothers basketball standards as he was a stand-out athlete in high school as well. Chronic knee problems proved to be the achilles heel that mentally forced Gates out of the free spirited playing style he had developed playing basketball his entire life. Along with beautiful cinematography, the film contained a jazz score that captured the essence and very life of Chicago during that time with a sense of hope for those with the chops big enough to escape its' grasp. Director Steve James, in his masterpiece, truly allowed the story to formulate and thus marinate into the minds and hearts of the audience and because of this he truly has made a timeless work of art.

Because I'm Tired

The wind is blowing gently through the reverse side of the blinds. The blinds tap ever so slightly against the window pane, virtually inaudible. He sits staring off into the distance, back against the bed post. The room moves unnoticeably around him. He is in the zone. Thinking. A bead of sweat rolls down his face. He catches it on his tongue just before it reaches the bottom of his lower lip. He continues to stare out into nothing, nowhere. His fingers rattle. Almost as if in an attempt to reestablish that they are still connected to his hand. He glances down at his feet. His right foot wiggles, slowly. Still connected. The clock strikes 3 a.m. Another bead of sweat rolls down his face. This time he does not catch it. It splashes against his bare chest. He winces, slightly. The poison has begun to take hold. His eyes move in the direction of the empty glass sitting next to him. His heart begins to speed up. He is unphased by the sudden increase. He breathes in and breathes out. In and out. His hand reaches for the air. It pauses as if grasped by the hand of another. His eyes stare up at no one, nothing. His hand begins to recline downwards. His heart slows. He never blinks. His hand continues downward. He breathes in. His hand rest at his side. He breathes out, never blinking. His heart stops. He never blinks. His eyes stare off into nowhere, nothing.

ARob

...

I showed my short film "The Dead Pass Swiftly" a few short hours ago. I'm both happy and mad at the response. I'm excited because I got the opportunity to show my hard work to an audience. After the fest was over, I got the occasional "good film," "nice job," I liked your film," etc, but the comments, though appreciated were bittersweet. Although I do realize the contest was rather open-ended in the types of films it chose to display, I'm not at all convinced that all three films that won deserved their awards. My film definitely had the strongest story out of the bunch and for it not to get recognized as such, I'm a bit deflated. More than that though, I'm also saddened by the lack of support I received from the black students at my school. I invited a host of people to come and frankly they didn't show up. For whatever reason (and I hope the reasons are good) they DID NOT come. I'm mad because I show my support for others but when it comes to something that I ask they dropped the ball. This problem is not new to the black community though. Support is lacking and has been lacking within the black community (at least on a large scale) for some time now. I find it rather sad that we don't come out and support our own.

When I say support I don't mean telling me that you hope the film does good or you wish me luck. That's not support. Support means getting off your ass, coming out and showing your face at the event. Spike Lee faces the same dilemma within the black community. People don't realize you can't and should not always wait for his movies to come out on DVD. The way the studio measures his success is how well he does at the box office. So yeah, you might actually like Spike but by not actually going to the theater when his movies come out, you're hindering and lessening the amount of money studios are willing to give him because people aren't going to the theaters. I'm hurt because I really wanted black folks to attend. To be honest, more white people came out that I invited than did black people. Not to say that I didn't appreciate their support but there's something to be said when your own race supports you. I didn't and I don't feel like blacks on this campus share a sense of community when it comes to our own. There are many reasons for this, but I'll spare your eyes the strain of reading all that I would have to say. I will say that this problem is bigger than the lack of support that was shown tonight though. Much bigger. The support is lacking within the black community as a whole. Something has to give because this shit has to stop. It's frustrating folks to be quite honest...

Not to take anything away from the "films" that were entered into the festival though. Jesse Berger's film "The City Green," that won top honors of the night, was well deserved. The cinematography in the film was excellent. Jesse is a great up and coming as well as established director coming up through the ranks. I refuse to give any other film that won the least amount of acknowledgement though, period. Story wise, I felt like my film was the strongest in the fest, but when you have people that don't understand where I'm coming from...what can you do? It sucks folks, to be quite honest I'm upset about how it went down. I put in a lot of hard work on the film and to have it ill received it's a bit disheartening. I feel like the film was written off because of some of the language that was used. I used the word nigga in the film a few times, but that was true to my situation growing up and current. That's how people I know speak. It just is. Not saying it's right, but that's the way it is. When the word was first used I heard a few of the white people in the audience gasp or immediately whisper to one another. That in and of itself let me know that they didn't and possibly wouldn't understand the film. I guess it's an issue of ethnicity. Different races having different interpretations of one another and that sort of thing. It's an issue that's been brought up on more than one occasion from some of the greatest human beings to ever live and I'm sure I'm not the only person that's ever or will ever be stung by the race thing.

One good thing that's coming out of this is that I'm hungry again. A lot more hungry than I've been in awhile. I have to get better and I will. I really want to prove that a black film with an all black casts can be universal, influential, and important to all races. Back to the woodshed. All aboard the Train To Midnight.

"When I Have Fears That I May Cease To Be"

When I have fears that I may cease to be

Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,

Before high piled books, in charact'ry,

Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain;

When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,

Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,

And think that I may never live to trace

Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;

And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!

That I shall never look upon thee more,

Never have relish in the faery power

Of unreflecting love!-then on the shore

Of the wide world I stand alone, and think

Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

John Keats (1795-1821)

The Dead Pass Swiftly (Trailer)

Finally, after a week long hiatus from the rest of society, I've finished the trailer to my film "The Dead Pass Swiftly." I'm super excited about how it turned out. My buddy Dave Brown gave me a lot of good advice about how to go about editing the trailer. I was a bit apprehensive (actually, it was more than a bit) about some of the suggestions. In the original, I had short snippets that included commentary, but Dave didn't think that the commentary was necessary. He mentioned how powerful imagery can be. I wasn't trying to hear it. I kept the commentary until the very last minute. It really didn't fit in with the scheme of the trailer so, with tears, I cut it out entirely. But, I'm super excited about how well it turned out. My first trailer for one of my films! It's like March Madness in February. I can hear Dickie V in the background "The excitement BABY! America are you SERIOUS!!!" The film was scored by a friend of Dave's. Sadly, I cannot remember his name (if you're reading this you have my sincerest apologies) but I hope to work with him on future projects. He's a really talented composer. Hope you all enjoy the trailer as much as I enjoyed putting it together :) Good fright and all aboard the Train To Midnight.

The Horror...The Horror

Hello passengers. I trust you had a good sleep in Love Lost. It seems as though we are a few passengers short. I suppose they are lost in the town of Lost. Woe to those lost in the town of Lost. For they will surely wander the streets trying to find a way...to nowhere. As the conductor is tossing logs in the engine, allow me to tell you a story. A story of horror. I watched "Apocalypse Now" (directed by Francis Ford Coppola) yesterday in my Religion and Film class. In all honesty, at first, I thought the movie was rather boring. Though I do like war movies. Black Hawk Down and Saving Private Ryan (just to name a couple) are two excellent war films. In all honesty, I didn't realize how much I loved the film until the end. The plot of the film is for Captain Benjamin L. Willard (Martin Sheen) to hunt down and kill a fellow American soldier: Colonel Walter E. Kurtz (Marion Brand0). As a side note, a young Lawrence Fishburne takes the role of a 17 year old soldier. He gives us definite glimpses of the Fishburne audiences will come to know and love. Kurtz is believed to have gone insane and has sustained himself deep in the jungle as king of a tribe of "jungle dwellers" as I call them. The movie is set during the time of the Vietnam War. The irony is that though the war is going on, Captain Willard is sent on a dummy mission as a scape-goat to kill an American soldier all for the fact that the army wants him dead. The voice over dialogue in the film is of extreme excellence. Martin Sheen gives an excellent performance as well.

What I most like about the film...is Kurtz. In the beginning, Kurtz is established as this insane figure who's completely broken from the U.S. Army and, because of this, needs to be terminated. Coppola takes us on a journey through the horrors of Nam, deep into the heart of darkness (in relation to the novel by Joseph Conrad of the same name). When Captain Willard finally catches up with Kurtz, the audience is introduced to a far more introspective being whose reflections on society has caused him to seek a greater good, but also to delve deep within himself to manifest the darkness within. A darkness which he refers to as "The Horror."

It was in this that I found a sort of serenity. The words of Kurtz resignated a truth that I discovered through the eyes, lips, and heart of Kurtz. It isn't I that am evil, but it is the Horror within myself, within every individual that makes us evil. I would juxtapose that Horror next to the original sin. It takes something, something deep inside of human beings to be able to perform the actions that Kurtz performed. The ordering of the killing of thousands/millions of innocent individuals. But, in retrospect isn't that what religion has done. Haven't many died in the name of and against religion? Though Kurtz calls this evil, this will to destroy "Horror", couldn't that evil, that Horror, also be called "The Goodness" or "The Light?" At one point, Kurtz even utters, "You have no right to call me a murderer, you have a right to kill me...you have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me..."

For my killing, for those that I have murdered...you have no right to judge me. What I see, those that I have destroyed...though you do not understand and may never understand...you have no right to judge me. It would be well served to say that if Kurtz is a murderer, then we are all murderers. At some point in our lives, we have killed someone. By thoughts unwritten, deeds undone, and goals unachieved. I once heard a minister say, "There are certain people who can only get saved through the sound of one specific person's voice." Not because God could not save them, but because he ordained someone to go through similar circumstances so that that man's testimony would save him that was lost. If that man, having given up on himself and thus life, never testifies than another could never be saved. Thus that man is a murderer. That goes for anything in life. We are all assigned specific tasks in life. Whatever that might be and if we do not carry out those tasks...we are all murderers...."The Horror...The Horror" Alright passengers, I think the engine is warm. It is time that we exit the town of Lost. Let us journey deeper into the jungle. We shall arrive at the heart of darkness someday, or eternally wander the chambers of sorrow. All aboard the Train to Midnight.

Love

Time to slow the train a bit. We've arrived at the station in Love Lost. It is here that I shall write my first, but probably not last, take on the infamous four letter word LOVE. No idea what this word means. I try to stay optimistic about it but the truth is, sometimes (more often than not) I feel totally incapable of following through on what that word actually means. I'm not like most people though. I don't fear love. I fear the repercussions of what love means, but I don't fear love in and of itself. Sometimes, when I sit and think about love, I feel I'll never really know what love, true love, is. And, what is TRUE love and who came up with the concept that all love couldn't be true love? I'm digressing now, a tactic used in the procrastination of punching these keys and writing out how I really feel about love. Funny thing happened yesterday. I was watching a video of a woman. And the video showed the woman in a compromising state under the "control" of a man. It was in that moment that I viewed women as nothing more than a thing. A thing that had to be controlled. Not exactly inhuman but not fully human. Like they're here to be controlled by men. Even with the independent women of the 21st century, watching this woman, this one woman being compromised by a man really struck a chord in me. In combination with an essay that I studied in my Film Studies class, I watched a woman, which is especially common in today's society, being controlled under a watchful gaze of both the male and the audience. In a term called fettishistic scopophilia, used by Laura Mulvey in her essay "Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema," the male, afraid of the real threat a woman poses because of her lack of the phallus (a penis), men tend to break the woman down into parts so that the woman is no longer seen as a WOMAN but rather a piece of meat that the male is able to mold and shape into anything he so pleases. To bring my argument back to center, while watching the video, my perceptions of women and love turned into this blah of a portrait that circled around the idea that love does not exist. Rather there is only submissiveness to the man and through this, and this only, can true love (or a true heterosexual union) exist. I say this because if a woman poses a threat to a man, the only way a man can TRULY love a woman is if he is able to assert his dominance over her and loom over his prize like a hunter would his kill. Love. I hardly know you and yet I know you well. Like strangers on the dance floor we twirl in intimacy never once stopping to ask who we are, then, as strangers on a train we depart never to see one another again. Love. Alright passengers, it seems the conductor is a bit tired. We'll have to remain in Love Lost for the night. Surely you do not mind for I see some of you have brought your female counterparts along for the journey. Be careful, do not wander the darkness, for there are many dangers that lurk within the streets of Love Lost. If you are afraid, take my hand. We shall walk the streets of the Lost...together.

"For the dead travel fast"

Good night guys and ghouls. I had to open with the infamous line from "Tales from the Crypt." So, I have good news and I have semi-bad news. Let's start with the bad news. As I stated in my post yesterday, I'd been having some trouble transporting the video for the Hip Hop Aids Fashion show from my computer onto a dvd. The footage kept glitching around 8 minutes. Sadly enough, I had to "kill my darlings." Shout out to Berger for blogging about what the line means. I'll give the simplified version. "Cut the fluff." The only sad thing was that the "fluff" that I cut wasn't fluff at all, they were two good bites I used from interviews. The dvd burned successfully after I cut the two bites though. I switched around a couple of the interviews to increase the fluidity. I can honestly say that I'm satisfied with the final product. I sprinkled some tear jerker music throughout the video to increase the level of intimacy with the audience. We'll see what happens on D-Day (aka Friday) though.

The good news is I've FINALLY been able to get back to work on my short film "The Dead Pass Swiftly." After a two week hiatus, I'm back :) I'm super excited about the project. Even though I've been away for two weeks, I'm bringing even more knowledge about film and editing to the table. I'm confident that this will only make the film that much stronger and thus more potent. For the next month or so, I'll be in my lair (aka The Studio) editing. I'm excited to see the finished product. I got a guy named Dave Brown that works here at the college helping me with the audio. He'll be helping me fix some of those annoying hisses that sometimes accomodate video when using an external mic. He'll also be helping me score the film. The film has an urban feel, but I've gotten into jazz as of late, specificall John Coltrane. I'll try to find some way to combine both the urbanity (if that's a word) and a more soulful (jazz) feel for the music. I really want people to fully emerse themselves into the film. After all, that's the hope for all filmmakers. That for a second, maybe a brief moment, that the spectator forgets themselves in the physical only to be reawoken on the screen. Excitement baby!

I've put together two scenes so far. I have to tighten up the scenes that I've edited and link them into the sequence that I've begun to form. It's a really time consuming process, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. It's my passion. Looks like I'll be burning the midnight oil yet again tonight. A small sacrifice in the greater scheme of pushing my art forward, peace.

To be or not to be...

I've been editing a video for the Hip Hop Aids Fashion Show At CofC for the past few days. Just when I thought I was done, the inevitable happens. As the saying goes, one cannot have their cake and eat it too. Oh, the irony!!! The video began glitching as soon as I'd compressed it in Final Cut Pro. Teardrop. Hurt my heart really. It's taken me a couple hours to get the problem straight but I think I've finally mixed the right medicine to cure my little problem. I had to give my boy Jesse Berger a couple calls, which ultimately guided me in the right direction. He advised that I try a combination of things. I was a bit deflated to hear that there were more than one way to fix the problem. Deflated because that meant that there was no right way, so, in turn, I'd have to experiment and wait an hour for the project to compress before I discovered whether or not the problem was actually fixed...ugh! To my relief, it seems that simply opening a new project file and copying and pasting the timeline from the original project onto the new sequence might have done the trick. I'll take the optimistic approach on this one. We shall surely see in another 30 minutes or so though...keep your fingers crossed.

I'll take some time to talk about my long awaited project that I shot over Winter Break. My friend, Braker, gave me the idea that I should shoot a sequel to a short film I shot with some of my friends from home two summers ago entitled: "SLIP." The plot is about two cops that have been chasing a known drug dealer for the past couple of months. Just as they thought they had him cornered, he manages to "slip" out of their grasps. Hints the title "SLIP." Anyway, I was all for the idea until I got a text from my friend Gary telling me that a guy we'd come up knowing was shot to death in a home invasion. The news was both shocking and deflating. To be quite honest, me and the guy weren't the best of friends, but to hear that someone from your community died in such a tragic way is never good news.

My tune soon changed when I discovered that he was not the one being robbed, but...he was the robber. Suddenly, I didn't feel as bad. Call me inhumane if you must but it's hard to feel sympathy towards someone doing something with an inevitable outcome. I mean...what else was to be expected? A couple days later after talking to a couple more of my friends and my cousin, I'd settled on the idea of doing a story based around the event. The plot would entail a home invasion, but I'd add my own backstory. 2-3 weeks later I'd written "The Dead Pass Swiftly." The story follows a young man named Robbie. Robbie's father was killed before Robbie was born (the opening sequence of the film) while attempting a home invasion. Robbie's father, John, is a hustler, but moreso a jack of all trades. Presently, Robbie is stricken by a non-existent mother figure and the want to get out of a situation that only seems to worsen. The story follows Robbie as he makes his way up the food chain (so to speak) only to inherit the sins of his father and because of this is destined to end up like his father.

I took the last week of Winter Break to make the film. Working on a budget of less than $100 the footage came out pretty good. As of now, I've edited six scenes. I hope to have a rough cut by the end of the week so I can get a good idea of what I'll have to tighten up. I'm excited about the project though I've been on a two week hiatus because of other projects. I'll have to kick my gears into overdrive if I hope to show the film in a month or so at an event for Rhapsody in Black. An event that celebrates black art. It's held by our colleges Black Student Union (BSU). I'm confident I'll be able to have a decent version of the film to show. At the very least something that I'll be able to hold my head up on. I'll take the optimistic approach in this as well.

Now I'm still waiting on this HIV/Aids video to compress. My eyes are growing weary so I'll probably come back in the morning to see if switching the sequences worked. This song I'm listening to by Nas "Hero" is kinda giving me an extra boost. I might just have to burn the midnight oil. I'll keep you updated on how both projects turn out, peace.

"A Day in the Life of a Fool"

"I don't wanna live no mo. Sometimes I hear death knocking at my front do."

Words reminiscient of a life unlived. If you've been gracious enough to live long enough on this mediary time capsule called earth, you've felt this way at one point in life. Out of the whole song "Everyday Struggle" those two lines speak volumes of what the everyday struggle truly is. It speaks of how strenuous life has gotten and the semiously uphill battle one has been fighting. We're born to fall victim to the everyday struggle. In a sense we're born into the everyday struggle. No matter how rich one is or how poor one is, we all face our own demons. Sometimes we get so caught up in how glamorous the other half lives that we forget that they are not unlike ourselves. Just like you, they're born to die. The everyday struggle plagues everything under the sun. There's no escape...is there? To deal with the woes, some get hooked on a drug of choice. Others encapsulate themselves as to be locked away from the apocalypse that's taking place on the other side of their walls. Some choose to face the struggle. Muster the courage to look the struggle in the eyes and go toe to toe with what should surely be their downfall. One thing is for sure, whether one chooses to run from it or run at it, there's no escaping the everyday struggle. But, as Frost puts it:

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.”

I ask you now faithful reader. Take my hand. As Frost has promised, "the woods are lovely, dark and deep." We might stumble a bit, but do not worry if we part hands briefly. It is only for me to find my way. We shall assuredly meet again. As two strangers kissing in the dark. Do not fear. Do you trust me? Come now, the train has begun to pick up speed. The conductor has called for the last of the passengers. All aboard THE TRAIN TO MIDNIGHT.